Cooking with the Brotherhood
by shield-maiden
Summary: Fred has just burned Pietro's breakfast and there's almost nothing in the cupboards. What's a mutant to do except improvise?


Disclaimer: In no way do I own x-men evolution or it's characters, they belong to someone else.   
  
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It was another beautiful morning in the Brotherhood House. Birds were singing, bacon sizzling, and (lucky for the other three boys) Pietro was sleeping. Toad hopped down the stairs as quietly as possible and went in to the kitchen where Fred was making what appeared to be a four star breakfast.   
  
"All this for Pietro," Toad asked.  
  
" Yup," Fred answered. " And he'd better appreciate it too, or I'll have to pound him." He emphasized this by smacking his fist into the palm of his hand.  
  
" I don't know, yo. That might make him angry. Which means..." Toad eluded.   
  
" Which means...," Fred repeated slowly, thinking hard. " Which means..."  
  
" More work for us," Lance supplied, entering the kitchen. " Honestly, I don't know why we try so hard. What's he gonna do? Tell his Daddy on us?"  
  
" His Daddy could send one of his lackeys to come teach us a lesson. Plus, I don't know, he might be crazy and then we'd really be in trouble," Toad said, hopping up and down.  
  
" You know, now that I think about it I think Pietro is crazy," Lance said. " Otherwise there's no way he'd ever think he could use my jeep for one of his stupid dates. I've got a life too! I need my jeep for my own dates!"  
  
" Since when do you have dates," Toad asked, " Kitty dumped you."  
  
" I date," Lance snapped defensively.  
  
" Sure you do," Fred said sympathetically.  
  
" You bet I do. But you know what? Both times just didn't work out. I miss Kitty."   
  
" Would you stop it already, I don't want to hear another word. Next thing ya know you'll be writing her poetry and apologizing," Fred told him. Toad laughed at the thought.   
  
" Hey, maybe I should write her poetry," Toad chuckled.  
  
" Knock it off," Lance said, emphasizing his point with a small tremor.   
  
Just then the peeling of a bell could be heard from upstairs, accompanied by Pietro's yelling. " Oh boys, what happened to my wake-up call? And is someone gonna bring me breakfast in bed or not? I've got a long day ahead of me and if you think I'm gonna stand for such mutiny you've got another thing coming! To think I work so hard to keep this place looking decent. Day and night, night and day...Answer me! Think I talk just to hear myself talk?"  
  
" It'll be ready in a," Fred began.  
  
" SHUT UP," Pietro yelled. He paused for a second before continuing, " I smell smoke! You're not burning my meal are you?"   
  
Fred looked at the stove to find everything coal black. " Oh no," Fred sighed. "Um, I'm, uh, just finishing up. It'll be up in a minute," Fred yelled up.  
  
" What are you talking about," Lance asked. " Everything's extra crispy down here and Mr. " Leader" upstairs is gonna expect everything to be peachy keen."  
  
" I know," Fred replied. " Which is why I have a backup plan." He pulled out a box of frozen waffles and tossed them to Toad. " Here, pop three of 'em in the toaster."  
  
" Wait a minute, won't he notice," Toad asked, looking at the freezer-burned waffles.  
  
" No, he didn't even notice the radish roses, we won't notice the waffles aren't home-made."  
  
" Where'd that package of mini-muffins go," Lance asked.  
  
" Over here," Toad said from atop the counter. " You can nuke 'em and put some butter on 'em. He'll never know the difference." He tossed them over to Lance who was waiting by the microwave.  
  
" Let's see," Fred thought aloud. " Waffles, muffins, hm, we still need eggs and orange juice."  
  
" Looks like we still have some eggs, can you fry 'em up real fast," Lance asked.  
  
" No problem, check and see if there's orange juice in there. Toad, check the cupboards for some canned fruit."  
  
" We got some canned olives, will that work," Toad asked.  
  
" No, we need something that at least resembles fruit."  
  
" Oh look! An apple fruit pie! My favorite!" Toad began to unwrap the pastry when Fred snatched it from his grasp. " Hey, what gives?"  
  
" This'll work great. How's that juice comin' Lance," Fred asked.  
  
" Um, it's not. The orange juice carton is empty. But, there is a can of orange soda someone left out over night and some Jell-o with those little oranges in it."  
  
" Mandarin oranges, Lance. How many times do I have to tell you the difference between mandarins, tangerines, and oranges?"  
  
" Yeah, mandarin oranges, that's it. Can we make some juice from them?"  
  
" They're a little small to get a glass of juice out of ... but if we add the juice to the soda, maybe he'll buy it. You're in charge of that Lance. I have to start these eggs."   
  
" I'm waiting," Pietro yelled from upstairs.   
  
" It's almost done," Fred called back. " How's that juice comin', Lance?"  
  
" Well, it's not working so well," Lance told him, hitting the plastic bag once more with a meat tenderizer, and then emptying the contents into a glass, " but we've got pulp in it now."  
  
" Great, those waffles done, Toad?"  
  
" Yeah, what now?"  
  
" Spoon out that filling from the fruit pie and put it on top. The eggs are just about done, so start arranging that stuff on the tray over there and get some flowers for that cup."  
  
" Gotcha. I'll just go get some," Toad hopped outside.   
  
A few minutes later the food was done and he hopped back in with a bunch of dandelions.   
  
" What are those," Fred demanded.  
  
" Flowers," Toad said, " they smell pretty. Besides, if Pietro's as crazy as I think he is he'll think they're beautiful too."  
  
" Well, okay," Fred placed them in a cup, set them on the tray, and proceeded up to Pietro's room with what he hoped looked like a meal as Lance and Toad crept behind, waiting for Pietro's reaction.  
  
" He'll never buy it," Lance said, watching Fred enter the room.  
  
" Yes he will," Toad told him.  
  
" That looks great, Blob," Pietro exclaimed. " Love the flowers." Taking a sip of the "juice" he eyed Fred and asked, " Is this fresh- squeezed?"  
  
" Yup," Fred said, glancing at the door.  
  
" Excellent. This is really great, but make sure you get cherries on the top of the waffles next time, apples are a little hard on my tummy-tum."   
  
" Of course, Pietro."  
  
" You can go now." Pietro waved his hand in dismissal.  
  
" Whew," Fred sighed after getting out to the hallway. " Thank goodness that's over with."  
  
"I can't believe he bought it," Lance exclaimed.  
  
"I can," Toad said. " Are we gonna have to make him breakfast tomorrow too?"  
  
"Yup," Fred said, " And the day after that, and the day after that, and..."  
  
"Then we should start planning our next masterpiece," Lance grinned. " I've got a great idea for an omelet."  
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Well, that's all, folks. Hope you enjoyed it. Please tell me what you think in a review. Bye! 


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